The Rabbi

Jeremiah, so if God bound Himself to the people, by an unbreakable chord, the people have no choice but to always be in God’s presence, do they? If obedient, a place of blessing and joy, if not, then whether they sense it or not, terror. Do you, as prophet, feeling both God’s heart and a love for the people, ever feel both at once, God’s anger, righteous and holy against the wrong, and love, compassion? Do you have capacity to feel both at once or is that beyond the human? Do you ever fear God for your own soul? How close to hell do you come?

I wonder if you prophets are like Mary, but then, every other way you seem so normal. Confusing. I think when I grow up, I want to be a prophet. That’s the only way I see myself able to be fully God’s and be as “unsettled” in this world stuff. Something about being comfortable, even tolerant of stuff here seems painful to God. How did you prophets survive, always on pins and needles? Willing martyrs, that’s what you were. Maybe that’s what Catholic priests don’t get married for, so they can up and die as soon as Yhwh calls them.

So Israel, the prodigal daughter, takes all from Benevolent Dad and ruins herself and her blessings. And yet God restores all in time. She is not that tree that’s only worth as much as a fire will burn. But will God let her burn and resurrect her from the ashes like the phoenix? Is that what it’ll take? Is that what I am watching, the ashes collecting, Our God…. Sometimes I can’t even assign Him a word in exclamation, He’s just unfathomable. Knowing Him yet not fully. What a life. So not fully knowing one must feel Him out, but be discerning in the feeling. Complicated!